Forgiveness & Personal Growth

Recently I experienced the official end of a friendship and it was a somewhat surreal experience - mostly because of the things that this person told me, airing out hateful grievances that quite honestly came out of nowhere. However, that's not really what this post is about. It stinks when a break from someone is messy but such is life. What really stuck in my mind was discussing with a group of friends my inability to let people go even when they have done something reprehensible and one of my friends telling me that people are often better than the worst thing they've ever done. It's a phrase I've heard before but somehow I haven't been able to get it out of my head since she said it.

I've started wondering what my line is, if any. It's an odd thing because I can be a highly critical person - sometimes as a joke and sometimes for real - but I have the fundamental belief that all people have the capacity to be more than what we see and more than even they think they are. I can forgive a person for just about anything because we're all fallible and I want to believe that if I did something "unforgivable," that there would be someone there who might still believe in me anyway.

I suppose where things get sticky is when it's quite obvious that a person has no interest in changing or growing or honest self-reflection. I think at a certain point, the groundwork of a person is what it is - such as their values - but I also think that a person should be learning more about himself every single day. We never finish growing and that's the beauty of life! Also? I have a level of respect for someone who accepts that they don't have all the answers and is constantly looking for more of them.

Essentially I think just about everyone is worth the effort. Even the people I walk away from... I honestly hope they have a person who sticks around and tries to help them be better versions of themselves. It's just the emotional and psychological toll that some relationships take in my life that I can't handle and sometimes we have to be a little selfish and think about our own self-preservation.

In truth, I'm lucky to be surrounded by such a rich and diverse group of friends. I feel like not everyone has this luxury. I know when things get hard, I'll have people to lean on... I just like thinking that I can provide that level of comfort and peace to others as well.

In the end, I don't think people are built to be alone and I feel like they should have freedom to make mistakes without ending up alone. Measuring our own capacity for forgiveness, tolerance, and acceptance is what makes us exceptional beings.






....Too uplifting for a rainy Monday morning?