There's something to be said for the power of positive thinking but what happens if that doesn't quite work? Lately I've been on this optimistic kick (which I'm sure my readers may have noticed by now) but some days it's really hard to pull my head out of the dark clouds. I went to bed in a grumpy mood on Friday and whenever I go to bed feeling shitty, I wake up the next day feeling the same way.
So I got up on Saturday. Then realized how much stuff I had to do. Then felt the stress headache creeping in. And then I realized that I was doing all of this to myself. The old Natacia would have wallowed and questioned why the universe can be such an asshole.
But that was the old Natacia and I refuse to let that negative lady control my emotions anymore. So I took a step back, I canceled all of my social engagements, I got a lot of work done and I took a mental health weekend. I took care of myself because in the Year of Natacia, I am going to put myself first more and stop obsessing about how my every move effects the people around me.
I did a lot of reading, including the entire Sunday Post. I made a big pot of chili, which turned out GREAT (and I will post once I recall everything I put in it). I caught up on my favorite sitcoms. I started outlining my trip to South America next winter to visit a dear friend who has been placed there for the Peace Corp. I had two fabulous phone dates; one with my mom and one with my beautiful and wise friend, Crystal.
Sorry for the laundry list. Not sure if this post is really saying anything. I guess the point is I'm progressing! Which is lovely and gives me hope that this whole self-improvement thing isn't just a passing phase.
Yesterday my mom told me, "Sometimes you have to say 'fuck it and smile" - and by the way, that is the first time my mom has ever dropped the F bomb on me NOT in anger so that was pretty cool - "because life is too big and too short to be mad about things you won't even remember in 20 years."
So on my dry erase board in my kitchen, I wrote "fuck it and smile" as a reminder. It's a good advice. New mantra, anyone?
What do the rest of you folks do to pull yourself out of a funk? I'd love to hear!
Love,
N
About Me
- Tash
- Washington, DC, United States
- I don't write here nearly as much as I should, but when I do, I'll try to make it count for something.
As you know, this is me all day! I think that those Mental Health days are really the best thing you can do to keep yourself the best version of you. Keep doing whats best to keep you healthy!
ReplyDeleteYou really get me, lady. Love you!
DeleteI think some of of this I can relate to. For different reasons. I am mostly an upbeat and positive person, but the positiveness doesn't get poured into anything that materializes. And so it just sits there and gets stale. Im like a GREAT loaf of bread, with cheese on the side. Waiting on the shelf for someone to take a slice of me and enjoy the fucking bread already. A lot of this comes from just still not quite fitting in even after all these years, and I am sure there is a lot of analysis that would possibly show depression on all levels of the word. And even though I know that only you can get yourself out of a rut, I try and try and try to no avail and The Smiths song echoes in my mind. "Theres a club and you want to go, you could meet someone who really loves you, so you go and you STAND on your own, and you leave on your own...". Now, Im not talking about love here, just connections. Northern Virginians are seriously hard to connect to. And I end up feeling worse when I've tried to no avail.
ReplyDeleteAnd day after day, I get through it. Mostly what helps me is writing, in every form. Songs with their lyrics, books with their meanings, movies with their dialogue, friends with their blogs...I find myself uplifted. A connection through writing. Always and always writing. So keep on. :)